Prove Me Wrong!
By: Tommy “Tj” Sotomayor

“Stop Glorifying Single Mothers; They Are Generally Losers”

I chanced upon a Facebook user, Bettern Chero’s post describing single mothers in unprintable words. I can’t entirely agree with her generalization. However, some of the points she raised are agreeable. According to the lady, in her own opinion, single mothers are not to be glorified in society as they raise criminals and sluts.

This has not gone well with her followers and Facebook, and she has been receiving bashing from different corners,

Read her post and share your thoughts on it.

“STOP GLORIFYING SINGLE MOTHERS

Before I get to the point of my article, let me state my disclaimer. “I am in no way attacking Single Mothers; I am a daughter of a single father !!

Single moms, excluding widows, are generally losers, and they have a big possibility to raise criminals and sluts you see around.

If you’re a single mom, you’re praised and heralded for your courage and strength in raising a child all by yourself. It’s brave for a woman to take on the responsibility of being able to deal with an evil man who left her and put her in an unfortunate situation.

But like most things, women, for the most part, chose to put themselves in this situation. Evil men don’t just magically appear in our lives as women. Evil men who leave women don’t just magically change and decide to leave the woman. And there aren’t only evil men to choose from. There are lots of good men out there, too. But most single moms don’t want good men. Most single moms don’t know what a good man is.

Let’s get back to basics. Women have the upper hand in choosing their partner. This is why men usually ask women out and not vice versa. This is why a man will have sex with just about any woman while a woman will not have sex with any man. It’s supply and demand. It is much easier for a woman to pick up a man than for a man to pick up a woman. And that’s fine and natural.

You can’t have unplanned children if sex is planned. Every time you have sex, you have the risk of getting pregnant as a woman. So, there is no such thing as unplanned children. Of course, there are exceptions like rape. The vast majority of single moms are not exceptions. They are choices that they made to have sex. So when you have a child as a woman, you choose to either have the child or to have sex, which has a possibility of creating a child. A child is a choice. Every woman knows her cycle, and she knows her dangerous days, though during those days you feel like having sex, stop !!

Related: Marriage: When You Marry The Wrong Person

It’s not the man’s fault. You chose him. Again, women generally select men. Women have the final say on when and when not to have sex. Many men will do anything or say anything to have sex. That’s where choice comes in. It would be best if you sifted through the basics. You need to put your big girl thinking cap on and not believe everything you hear. Also, it would be best to look past the words and into people’s character. You are way more at risk than the man and have way more options than the man. It would be best if you were wise about how you proceed.

Single moms always go after alpha men who are attractive, muscular, and good in bed and hope that they can keep the man by giving him more sex and following his every whim. They use each other to their advantage and do not want to create something stable or long-term. It is only a matter of time before the man moves on to the next woman, and likewise, it is only a matter of time before the woman moves on to the next man.

The cycle repeats repeatedly because these people do not know what they want. And in not knowing what they want, they get what they don’t want. But the absence of choosing what you want is the choice of what you don’t want. Why do some women choose good men and other women not? They all have a choice. But they don’t all make good choices. You can hate Bettern Chero Yaani, daughter of the soil from Sacho, but the truth remains.

Single mothers shouldn’t be vilified, but they shouldn’t be glorified either. Let me add to that: I do not think, in any way, shape, or form, that single moms are bad moms. On the contrary, judging by the single moms I know, they work harder to take care of their kids than most moms do in two-parent families. Granted, that’s not because they’re better people but because parenting is a two-person job, and they’re trying to fill both roles by themselves. It’s extremely tough for them to do that, which most single moms would acknowledge.

Single mothers tend to struggle more financially, and they do miss having a dad around to help with the kids, bring in more money, help soothe their frayed nerves, give second opinions, be a rock, and do all the things that men do to help make a happy home.

Of course, single dads have it tough, too, but as a society, we put single moms up on a pedestal, and we don’t do the same for single dads. The courts always give the mom preference over the dad. Most social media and people lionize single moms, but rarely single dads, and we generally treat moms like they’re better parents by default. So even though single dads who take care of their kids are as important as single moms and care just as much for their children, they’re not looked at the same way as single moms. So, since single moms are much more common and are treated differently, they’re the ones we should focus on.

Related: Why I frown on abstinence

The problem we have in dealing with single moms in this country is that most of us know single mothers, know how hard they’re working, and wish them well. We do what we can to support them and build them up. That’s very understandable, and it undoubtedly does some good. However, because we’re constantly talking about how wonderful single mothers are, we’re also making the option look a lot less scary than it should be to young girls — and that’s a terrible thing for them and society.

No matter how much a single mother loves her child or how diligent she tries to be, it’s unlikely that she’ll be able to do as good a job of raising her child as a mother and father could have done in her place. People hate to hear that, but it’s true. Incidentally, this isn’t me just talking off the top of my head. Statistics bear this out and show that many of the problems we have in our society when you look a little deeper, are caused by the number of out-of-wedlock births we have in this country. The majority of suicides are individuals from single-parent households. Seventy-five percent of drug abusers are from single-mother parenting, and more than half of all youths incarcerated for criminal acts come from single-parent families.

Related: What sleeping with married men taught me

There are two main reasons as to why most single moms are single:

They picked a loser, to begin with.

They picked a good man, and he left cause she scared him away, of course; I’m generalizing, but there is truth to this generalization. Happy married women are almost always more wise and mature than single moms. It’s not a luck thing. Women choose their men. And married women choose better. Married women choose men that are more responsible, dependable, and committed to a serious, stable relationship.”